I've noticed this week that my teens are really embracing doing hard things lately.
Lydia, our oldest daughter that is nearing 18, was sent off to North Carolina this week on a plane without us (we live in MO). Gulp! First time we've done that. She is headed off to a leadership training for the week and in the little I've heard from her, it's going great. She's also training for a triathlon, which is a totally new thing for her!

Matthew is our second oldest, 15 1/2, and he has dyslexia. I've been trying to get him some tools to make studying the Bible easier for him because I know it must be daunting. But at the beginning of January, he joined a Bible reading plan on the Bible App with friends! I was so excited to see him pushing himself and giving himself that goal. The social aspect will definitely help him. We've also seen him go through a tough knee injury, surgery and recovery the last 6 months!

Our 3rd oldest, Judah, is in the middle of his varsity wrestling season. He's a freshmen, and had to work hard to earn a spot on the varsity team. Thing is, it's made his season a lot tougher. After being undefeated last year in 8th grade, I know it's been humbling to have some losses. I'm proud of him for working hard and choosing the more difficult path that will be best for him in the long run.

Here is what I think has contributed to them trying hard things:
It's not the first time. In smaller ways, as they were growing up, we've been exposing them to challenging situations where it felt "hard".
Things like: trying a new sport, pushing yourself in a workout, apologizing when needed, having tough conversations, receiving negative consequences, speaking in front of the house and senate committees at the Capitol, performing music in front of others, rigorous academics, serving on mission trips.
They know who they are.
They know they are children of God. They know they are completely and forever loved by God and their family. That kind of assurance gives confidence to try something hard. They know they'll never lose that.
(They are teens, they are definitely still growing in this! But I can see it playing a part in their lives.)
We made them do hard things when they didn't want to sometimes. All that stuff I listed in number one... a lot of that they didn't want to do at first. There was grumbling, there was complaining, there was whining. But we put our foot down and many times have required them to get out of their comfort zones. When you do something you didn't think you could do because it seems hard - and then you do it... game changer!
It's bitter sweet seeing them take on hard things. Sometimes the "hard thing" makes me worry! What if they get hurt (emotionally or physically)? What if they fail?
The thing is, disappointment and failure are a part of life. And doing the hard thing and failing sometimes is showing them that, even if they fail, it's not the end of the world. It's very normal actually! Life keeps going and they can too.
If your kids are little right now, think about exposing them to age appropriate "hard things" in their life. Don't coddle and hover too much. Get them out of the comfort zone and into the skill-building, life-lesson zone! We can help our teens learn to do hard things.
I've been working on adding more content for parents of teens into my social media and podcast interviews! Make sure you are following along there and share with anyone else who might be interested in raising healthy teens.
Wishing you abundant health,
Melisha

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